Scally Spotting

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[edit] Scally Spotting

Oh, what to do today? I don’t know about you, but I sometimes find myself at a loose end when wandering around town. There is only so much ‘waiting for your girlfriend to try on another top’ that you can take before your concentration starts to dwindle.

Well, worry no more, as Chester Wiki proudly presents one of my very own favourite pastimes…Scally Spotting!

Chester seems to be a particularly good place to undertake this leisurely pastime, as the streets appear to be rife with Cappa and Burberry. It’s not even much of a challenge, really.

[edit] Tell-Tale Signs

Please examine this image:

Looks familiar? Of course it does, you see it every day walking through our picturesque Tudor (or are they Victorian) streets. Notice the tracksuit bottoms, the way they cling to the ankles, making the sports socks that more visible. Notice the trainers, the posture, the "OH MY GOD I AM SOOOOO HARD" stance. They truly don't give a f*ck, do they?

And of course there’s the ultimate in scallywear: the hoody!

I always get a bit dewy eyed when talking of the good old hoody, such a comfortable item of clothing, soft and warm and with a hood! It’s a real shame that it’s been nabbed as the must-have seasonal item for all the scummers. I would love to be able to wear mine (yes, I do own one) about town, but I can’t help but notice the fearful glances from the old woman walking alongside me. The fact of the matter is that Scallies seem to be here to stay. I don’t know where they came from (*cough* *Blacon* *cough*), all I know is that I don’t remember seeing them 10 years ago, but maybe that just means I’m getting old.

[edit] How to spot a scally

Look to see if a suspect has their trousers tucked into their socks, if so, it’s already looking really good for your first spot of the day.

    • Does it say Rockport on their footwear?
    • Is their top either: a) hooded or b) stripy?
    • Are they walking like they have a rolled-up carpet under each arm?
    • Do they have a strong peak in their cap and is their head tilted backward a la Liam Gallagher?
    • Any Jimmy Saville type jewellery?
    • Are they throwing something (or looking like they might throw something)?

I’d say that if you have answered “yes” to maybe 4 of these then you have yourself a scally! Quick, take a photo of him/her on your phone! Be very surreptitious though, “these guys are from the hood, man”. They’re from the streets and they’re not scared of you! I mean, they are like 12, after all.

[edit] Habitat

Prime location – the Rows! Yes, the lovely Rows that this city is famous for is exactly where these “dudes” love to hang out. Watch them wolf-whistling and spitting at people as they smoke Lambert and Butler like they were “fiddy cent” himself.

Apart from that you can see them pretty much anywhere in town, they seem to especially like rows of shops (eg, Boughton).

Well, good luck with your spotting, if you feel brave enough to snap a prime example on your super duper mobile then please send it in, we could start a gallery of some sort.

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