Rosies

From Chester Wiki

Contents 1 Nomenclature 2 Atmosphere 3 Music 4 Prices 5 Conclusion

[edit] Nomenclature

Although officially called "RB's", incorporating the 80s-themed club "Reflex", the entire 'niteclub/discotheque' is referred to by all and sundry as "Rosie's", dating back to the era, now sadly passed, when the club would be host to an agreeable blend of jazz, rock 'n' roll, and stylish patrons.

[edit] Atmosphere

Imagine being trapped within one of Heironymus Bosch's chilling paintings of the layers of hell, made flesh. To those uninitiated in the art of the Dutch Renaissance, imagine being trapped inside a room filled with coarse, vulgar, drunk, sweating, loutish, leering, posing, soul-destroyingly vacuous and startlingly ugly people. The room is thick with the fug of Lynx Africa, crotch sweat, hair gel, and gaseous sweat.

You turn, feeling the crackle of the sticky floor on your sole.

Around you, you notice two Moschino t-shirted hairdressers sucking bright blue alcopop through half an inch of inexpertly applied macquilage. Beyond, two louts, with identical scowls and gelled-down short hair, in short-sleeved (despite it being the middle of November) white shirts with blue windowpane check, old tattoos fading to green visible on their arms, give the hairdressers the once-over from underneath Neanderthal brows.

To these four people, this is the very high-point of their week.

[edit] Music

Like Tim Westwood's tinnitus. A pointlessly bass-heavy mix of bad tunes from the 80s and bad tunes from the 00s.

[edit] Prices

With a flyer gleaned from The Cross or Loaf, entry may cost as little as 2 or 3 pounds. This is still too much. Drinks will cost you a sweltering 45-minute wait and a wallet-evacuating sum.

[edit] Conclusion

Rosie's is, quite simply, no-one's idea of fun.

One can only derive pleasure from a visit if one is intoxicated on a regiment of apple 'sourz', or is a cretinous nincompoop.